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10 Steps Proving No Problem is Too Big to Solve

Have problems? Want solutions…now?

You may be feeling angry, annoyed or anxious. You might be feeling frustrated, overwhelmed or hopeless.

You’ll love this article because it will show you why no problem is too big to solve.

You have the power. And the 10 step Lori Prokop Anger Management System will help you take it back, even in the toughest of situations.

Here are 4 questions, which upon answering, which will provide the solution to your problem:

1) What are the concrete actions you are observing affecting your well-being?

2) How do you feel in connection with what you are observing?

3) What are the unfulfilled needs or desires creating your feelings?

4) What are the concrete actions you are requesting to enrich your life now?

You might be saying, “I don’t even know what these four questions mean. How can I answer questions I don’t understand? I need some help here.”

Great.

Here is a summary of the 10 steps of the Anger Management System, which will help you understand why no problem is too great to solve.

Great.

Here is a summary of the 10 steps of the Anger Management System, which will help you understand why no problem is too great to solve.

Step 1: Learn anger is a valuable warning signal of unfulfilled needs. It says to stop and become aware of your unfulfilled needs and the feelings created by those unfulfilled needs. Begin to look for result that would make your life more fulfilling, satisfying and wonderful.

Step 2: Learn to identify just the facts. Observe without judgment, shame, blame, guilt, wrongness or punishment of yourself or others.

Step 3: You learn your feelings result from your needs being met or not being met and never from what another person does or doesn’t do.

Step 4: You take control of your thinking and focus your awareness on your feelings and needs.

Step 5: You experience more personal power, contentment and ease as you get in touch with your needs and realize you can take positive action to get your needs met.

Step 6 and 7: You imagine and identify positive actions that will meet your needs right now.

Step 8: Your awareness moves to others involved. Before talking to them, you guess what the other person feels and needs. You identify actions which might contribute to his or her needs being met.

Step 9: Chose which person you would like to speak first with the knowingness you can continue talking until all needs are met through actions everyone is in agreement with and willing to take.

Step 10: Time to Talk. You put the steps into action communicating your observations, feelings, needs and requests and receiving the other person’s observations, feelings, needs and requests.

You stay focused on making clear requests and how you feel about what is being requested of you.

If you feel good, you might consider agreeing to the request.

If you feel bad, you might consider say no to the request and working towards a request you feel good about agreeing to.

You continue until everyone’s needs are met through actions everyone feels good about and agrees to take.

Posted by Lori Prokop | Questions and Comments (3)

End Your Fear of Failure Because No Problem is Too Big to Solve

Here are the questions to make sure you are clear on before you start talking problem resolution:

1) Is your observation clear and without judgment, shame, blame, guilt or diagnosis of yourself or others?

2) Are you able to name your feelings and needs?

3) Do you have a guess of what the other person’s feelings and needs are?

4) Do you have a clear request of what you want to have happen next?

Okay, then, now it is time to talk.

Here is a guideline on what to say (and not say).

1) Avoid stating an observation sourced from wrongness, blame, judgment, diagnosis or enemy images.

2) Instead, when talking about what you are reacting to, stick to clear observations, just like what an emotionless video camera would say if it could speak. It might sound like, “I have been thinking about how you spend so much time at the office” or “In meetings you tell stories that are 10 to 15 minutes long and, eventually, have little to do with the subject of the meeting.”

3) After a clear observation, state a feeling that comes from your heart or a body sensation. (I feel lonely and sad. I feel annoyed and confused.)

4) Avoid statements like “I feel that you…” and “I feel like you…”

These statements are likely to be followed by blame, judgment or wrongness. You are unlikely to get your needs met by speaking in this manner.

5) Express heart-felt emotions and body sensations — not diagnosis, judgment or blame

Here is how you will know you have identified your needs. Your anger will be replaced by another feeling or you will feel other feelings along with anger.

Here is what to do next:

1) Name these feelings out loud, not the anger, but the other feelings. (I feel sad and lonely.)

2) Then name your need out loud. (I realize I need more companionship, connection and nurturing.)

3) Then make a request that invites a response from the other person that would make life more wonderful and fulfilling right now. (Would you agree to spend Tuesday nights and Sundays with our family?)

The other person will want understanding for his or her feelings and needs also.

Unless he or she knows the 10 steps of my Launch from Good to Great Anger Management System, it is likely he or she will not have the awareness or skills you have.

When he or she speaks to you, it might sound something like, “You’re always thinking of yourself. You’re selfish. All you care about is yourself.”

I call this Termite Talk.

Termite Talk

Think of what termites do to the wooden foundation of any structure.

They eat at it until it is dust.

This is what judgment, shame, blame, guilt, wrongness and punishment talk does.

So how do you deal with angry people who are using Termite Talk?

First, you realize that you want your needs met.

Termite Talk erodes any possibility of a foundation that could get your needs met. Your needs are the most important. So choose the talk most likely to fulfill your needs.

What is it?

Eagle Talk. An eagle is a leader and a sign of enlightenment and freedom. But you might not feel like a leader. You are, even if you are leading one, yourself. And you might not feel free. You are, if you are able to communicate your needs.

What is Eagle Talk?

It is communicating empathy, observations, feelings, needs and requests in a heart-connected way without judgment, shame, blame, guilt, wrongness or punishment of yourself or others.

How do you start to get your needs met when you deal with angry people using Termite Talk?

The most powerful tool for transforming Termite Talk into getting your needs met is empathy.

What is Empathy?

Empathy is the capacity to give your non-judgmental attention in the present moment to a sufferer, regardless of how he or she is communicating.

It is being attentive to others and their experiences.

It is being in the presence of people with weaker communication skills — who are talking and acting judgment, blame, shame, guilt, punishment or wrongness — and realize this is the only way they know to get their needs met. It is tragic and sad.

You choose to use the stronger communication skills outlined in this anger management system. So you stay you’re your observations, your feelings, your needs and your requests.

It is listening to others without taking on their feelings.

Feeling another’s feelings is sympathy.

When we are sympathizing (I feel what you are feeling) we are not empathizing (I am here with you with total acceptance and not judgment, shame, blame, guilt, wrongness or punishment. I am here with you and not taking what you say personally, because I understand it’s about your skill level in communicating unfulfilled needs.)

So if a person attacks you, you know they have a low skill level for identifying and communicating unfulfilled needs.

Using this Anger Management System, you have a greater skill level to deal with angry people or people who have only lower skill levels.

After Empathizing

After empathizing, move your attention to the other person’s feelings and needs. Guess what action the other person might like to meet his or her needs.

It could be a general statement like, “Are you worried (or other feeling) about consideration for your needs and want to know that I am willing to consider your needs as well my own needs (or other action)?”

Or more specific question like, “Are you feeling sad and lonely and need to feel nurtured and connection?”

What to Avoid

Make sure to avoid “Are you feeling sad and lonely because you are mad I spend too much time at the office?”

A statement like this starts out connecting to feelings and then quickly moves to blame. This fuels and perpetuates the person’s lower skill level of blame and wrongness.

Increasing Your Personal Power

Communicating that you hear a person is very different than agreeing he or she is right or wrong.

By hearing how others feel and what they want, you can make sure you clearly understand their needs and request so you can make decisions about whether you want to agree to those requests.

When you demonstrate you really understand what others feel and need, you will be amazed how quickly they will trust their needs are as important to you as your need are to you.

You will find even the most difficult, angry people will be open to considering your needs, as you are considering theirs, and be more receptive to various strategies to meeting everyone’s needs.

Posted by Lori Prokop | Questions and Comments (1)

Anger Management: Overcoming the Failure to Communicate

When there are disagreements, even hostile outbursts, whose needs are talked about first?

Start by imagining that everyone’s needs can be understood and met; no one “winning” at the cost of the other.

This anger management system is complete only after both people have been heard, understood and walk away satisfied.

If only one person has been heard, understood and satisfied, you are half-way done.

4 Steps to Decide Who Speaks First

Since only one person can be actually heard at a time, ask yourself these questions to determine who will speak first and who will listen first:

1) Do you want to communicate how you feel and what you need for the other person to understand right now?

2) Or do you want to understand how the other person feels and what they need first?

3) Who is feeling the most pain?

4) Who has the most clarity of what they feel and what they need?

You may consider the person with the most clarity focusing on hearing the feelings and needs of the person in the most pain.

The feeling of being heard and understood will most likely help the person in the most pain feel relief and clarity.

When both people are at the same point of relief, understanding and clarity they may both feeling more willing to consider each others needs.

Either way, with my Anger Management System, you have the awareness to deal with angry people successfully – be that yourself or others.

Following this anger management system, you have the anger management skills to decide who will focus on feelings, needs and requests first.

If you choose to go first, you will be talking about your feelings, needs and requests to the other person.

If you choose for the other person to go first, he or she will be talking about his or her feelings, needs and requests to you.

Success Talk

If they do not know how to talk feelings, needs and requests, you can start by sharing your guesses (as detailed in step eight of the Anger Management System), in the form of questions.

It might sound like, “Are you feeling scared, overwhelmed and hopeless and need to know your family will be safe and have food and shelter?”

The question is “Are you feeling _______________ and need ________________?” It is a question and not a statement. You are not telling them what they feel and need. You are guessing.

Stick closely to this question, because it keeps the focus on feelings and needs. This removes judgment, punishment, criticism, blame and enemy images.

What NOT to Say

The question is NOT “Are you feeling __________ because I (or someone else) __________?”

Stay away from this question.

The part of the statement “because I (or someone else)” implies judgment, punishment, wrongdoing, criticism, blame and enemy images. This nearly guarantees your needs and those of others will not be met.

The question is NOT “What do you think about that?” or “What do you feel about that?”

Stay away from this question.

It puts the focus on logic which produces judgment, punishment, wrongdoing, criticism, blame and enemy images. Yes, most often when you ask someone how they feel, she or he will tell you what they think.

To resolve conflict, deal with angry people and get everyone’s needs met, we must stay with observations, feelings, needs and requests.

Even if you ask a person how he or she feels, often he or she doesn’t know; the response is negative thoughts and not feelings

The question is NOT “You shouldn’t feel __________” or “You should feel __________.”

Again, avoid these statements.

They are suicidal to getting your needs met.

Why?

People will not meet your needs if their needs are not being met.

Even if they say they will, they (consciously or unconsciously) sabotage your needs being met or you will pay a costly price the next time you present needs.

Posted by Lori Prokop | Questions and Comments (0)

Anger Management: What to Do When the Other Person is Wrong

If you really want to meet your own needs, without it being costly to you at the time or costing you later, it is important the other person’s needs are met as well.

For anyone who says, “The other people are wrong. They should NOT have said what they said and did what they did. They don’t deserve to have their needs met.”

This is holding an enemy image of the other person. It is costly to whoever is holding the enemy image.

Before speaking, acting or attempting to get your needs met, if you need to resolve any enemy image, start with step one of the Anger Management System.

Understanding your needs can never be fully met at someone else’s expense.

To get your needs met and resolve the problem, you must identify and communicate awareness of your own feelings, needs and requests, and help other people do the same.

How could you help other people, especially when you deal with angry people?

Use steps two through seven of my Anger Management System to guess in your mind what the other person is experiencing. Don’t worry about being accurate.

This guess is your best attempt at understanding what the other person is feeling and what the other person’s needs are when they acted as you observed.

The act of going through the steps will connect you with the other person on a heart level. The heart level connection is what’s important to open the door for mutual care and understanding.

At this point, you haven’t spoken yet.

Translate judgments, diagnosis and blame statements into what you guess the other person feels and wants.

If you are not able to do this and, instead, want to blame or feel the person doesn’t deserve to have their needs met, you are still holding enemy images. These will need to be resolved before a atmosphere where needs are mutually met.

So let’s apply this step. If we were guessing, “she’s unreliable” could mean:

Guess One

Possible Feeling and What It Could Look Like

She might feel irritated, frustrated and helpless. She may not understand the requests. She may feel like her actions don’t matter. She might feel like no matter what she does it will be criticized, so why try.

Possible Needs

She needs clarity, respect and reassurance.

Guess Two

Possible Feeling and What It Could Look Like

She might feel hopeless, lonely and uncomfortable. She may be scared to say no and, instead, say yes and not show up.

Possible Needs

She needs to be nurtured, cared for and loved.

Guess Three

Possible Feelings and What It Could Look Like

She may feel scared, overwhelmed and hopeless. She may prioritize overtime more important than time-off from work with the family.

Possible Needs

She needs to feel safe and have food and shelter for her family.

Identifying Feelings and Needs

If identifying feelings and needs is difficult for you, here is a list of some you can refer to:

Feelings When Your Needs Are Being Met:

Grateful
Confident
Energized
Eager
Stimulated
Proud
Intrigued
Hopeful
Content
Ease
Relieved
Surprised
Amazed
Touched
Joyful
Bliss
Optimistic

Feelings When Your Needs Are Not Being Met:

Angry
Rage
Disappointment
Frustration
Jelous
Annoyed
Sad
Depressed
Powerless
Helpless
Hopeless
Irritated
Nervous
Confused
Embarrassed
Concerned
Lonely
Overwhelmed
Impatient
Reluctant

Basic Needs All People Have
(This list is a start; there are more)

Physical – air, food, to move, exercise, protection from life-threatening situations, rest, se.x.ual expression, shelter, nurturing, touch, water

Play – fun, laughter, expression

Spirit – heart level connection, harmony, beauty of surroundings, inspiration, organization, flexibility, answers to deep questions, peace.

Community – acceptance, gratitude, connection, consideration, life-enhancing contributions, emotional safety, other people present and listening

Creativity – meaning, intuitive connection, able to feel safe being true self, self-worth

Recognition – celebrate creation of life, celebrate fulfilled dreams, mourning losses of loved ones or dreams

Independence – choosing your own dreams, goals and values; choosing your own plans for how you will fulfill dreams, goals and values

How to Get What You Want

At this point, even though you are not talking to the person yet, you are seeing them differently than as an “enemy.”

You are able to see a human with needs. They want life on earth to be more enjoyable by getting needs satisfied.

Even a person who hurts another believes by hurting that person, his or her own needs will be fulfilled. This is a tragic, temporary and costly way to attempt to meet needs.

Reality is an individual’s needs are actually only met when others’ needs are met too.

In the next newsletter, you will learn how you can get your needs met when dealing with angry, unstable or ridiculous people.

Posted by Lori Prokop | Questions and Comments (2)

How to Resolve Any Problem and Get What You Want

People who feel angry often think they are angry because the other person “made them” angry.

This anger management step focuses on the power you have to undo this misconception and choose to deal with angry people in a way that makes life more wonderful for you and others.

To do this, you will identify:

1) Your clear observation without judgment, wrongness or blame
2) Your feelings,
3) Your needs and
4) A clear request.

What is a clear request?

“I want you to be more reliable,” is not clear or achievable.

Why?

Because it leaves the listener having to read your mind and guess exactly what “reliable” means and what you are asking him to do to achieve it.

He may believe he is being reliable by sitting on the couch day after day, because you can rely on the fact you can find him there.

But you may view reliable as getting off the couch and taking out the garbage.

Here is how to transform anger and deal with angry people so you can resolve any problem and get what you want.

The idea is to imagine the other person doing or saying something, right now, that is in agreement with your desire and likely to meet your need.

Ask yourself, “At this moment, exactly what could the person say or do to meet my needs?”

Using the steps from the Anger Management System, a woman passed over for a promotion becomes:

1) (Observation) Clear about describing the situation without judgment or punishment

2) (Identify Feelings and Needs) She is aware her anger is about the need for recognition, for respect and to feed her family. As she identifies her needs, she finds she is also feeling sad, scared and hopeless.

3) (Request) Aware she needs to make a clear, positive request for action here in the now.
So she may say to her boss, “Would you agree to review with me, within the next week, at least two projects I have already completed that you believe have contributed to improvement in our department?”

You may say, but what if the other person is wrong or at fault? What if they have done something that needs punishment?

Posted by Lori Prokop | Questions and Comments (1)

Anger Management Miracle: Focus on What You

Anger focuses on situations and actions we don’t want.

This is like wanting the tire on your car to stop being flat.

You can want all you want.

But, to resolve the problem, you have to identify what needs to be done to fix the tire. Then take the action to achieve it.

But, it can be hard to figure out what you need.

Especially since most people have been programmed from early ages that needs are bad or selfish, and a person is better, stronger or more acceptable when they do not have needs.

This is like saying a person who stops breathing is better, stronger or more acceptable than the humans who need oxygen to stay alive. It makes no sense.

Needs are an inner compass and direction showing us how to live and do well.

Needs are your inborn owner’s manual. They are interactive so when your needs are not being met, your emotions and body let you know.

Improve Your Life Instantly by Identifying Your Needs

Life can be tough, really tough. People can be…well you know…they can be difficult, to say the least.

When you feel the twings of anger, this is the red light warning signal that your needs are not being met. It is the inner compass saying “go inside and ask yourself what you want and need.”

Say a person gets angry when around a co-worker. The question becomes, when you are around this person, what needs are not being met?

It could be the person is not helping you meet your needs or it could be the person is just triggering a reminder that your needs are not being met.

Let’s say you were in a meeting with a person who interrupted you.

If you are trained to think and communicate like most people, you might say to the other person, “You are an idiot. You make me so mad. I want you to stop interrupting me.”

The problem with this response is that the other person hears how they are wrong (blame) and what you DON’T want. This gives the other person every option but what you don’t want. They may figure, “Okay, I will make sure I don’t interrupt you by making sure you don’t talk.”

The other person may solve the problem by dominating the conversation.

Or here is another possible result from this statement. The other person may stop talking and expect you to mind-read, punishing when your guesses are wrong.

How to Get What You Want

You are much more likely to get your needs met when you formulate a positive request that clearly states what actions would meet your needs.

For example, “Would you agree to listen until I finish my sentence, and keep your comments related directly to the topic at hand?”

Place the focus on what you do want, not on what you don’t want.

Posted by Lori Prokop | Questions and Comments (0)

Building Self Confidence While Ending Fear and Worry

“What do you want?”

That statement can feel like a loaded question.

We are taught “not to want” by people who want their lives to feel “easier” by not having to help others achieve well-being. This doesn’t mean they were bad people. Rather, they had needs they chose to put before your needs.

Often, they didn’t even realize how to identify and get their own needs met and, as a result, didn’t have the skills to help or teach others.

Having unmet needs is the source of low self-worth, lack of self confidence and fear and worry for many people.

Part of living a peaceful life, including achieving world peace, is realizing that overlooking or postponing your own and others’ needs and well-being is very costly and only temporary.

What’s the First Clue You Have Unmet Needs?

Anger is the warning signal that you have unmet needs.

What a person is saying, often subconsciously, when expressing anger is, “Help me identify my unmet needs and get them met.”

What they are often consciously saying is some form of blame, shame or wrongness such as, “You make me so angry. If you wouldn’t do that, then I wouldn’t be angry.”

You have choice.

You can choose to take their verbalized comments personally and, therefore, create your own unmet needs and perpetuate anger.

Or you can see anger for the signal that it is.

You can realize when people express anger in the form of judgment, shame, blame, guilt or wrongness, they do not have the skills to identify and communicate their needs.

Without these skills, their needs go unfulfilled.

When even ONE person in a group has these anger management skills they can lead the group in such as way as to end conflict, worry, fear and, even, violence (which is conflict, fear and worry that has fermented into an explosive state).

End the Fear of Fear and Worry

Using the Anger Management System, an employee who felt the boss was unprofessional, was disrespectful and had a big mouth would look underneath the employee’s anger and translate his judgments into needs.

He may realize he values reliability, clear communication, timeliness and trust. Once needs are identified, the employee’s feelings move from anger to worry, anxiety and disappointment.

Even the harshest labels like freak, scammer or psychopath are just tragic and costly expressions of unmet needs by name callers who lack the communication skills to identify and get their needs met.

It’s tragic because the act of making another person wrong or punishing another person almost guarantees the blamer’s needs will go undiscovered, unexpressed and unmet.

Even if it appears the blamer’s needs are being met, it will be costly and only temporary for the blamer.

Overcoming Fear and Worry

Once you discover what you need, you are in the powerful position of overcoming fear and worry and choosing life-enhancing actions to get your needs met.

Posted by Lori Prokop | Questions and Comments (0)

Anger Management Secret: How to Overcome Fear and Anger Quickly

Most people, especially women, have been taught it is bad or weak to have needs. We have been trained to ignore or discount our wants and desires.

This always backfires.

Wants and desires are innate mechanisms to keep us alive and evolving. It would be like repressing your breath, heart beat or digestion and still expecting to live a full, happy, healthy life.

Every human being has needs, all the time.

We all have the exact same needs. Every need that you have, the people you see as enemies or “wrong” also have. The only people who don’t have needs are dead.

We all need respect, safety, nourishment, harmony, connection and love to name a few.

What Few People Know About Anger

Anger is a sign that “blame thinking” is going on in your head, and you have unmet needs.

If your blame statement was, “She never listens to me,” what emotions or body sensations would you feel?

Would you feel anxious, sad, rage, frustration or confused?

Depending on the situation, you might be happy this person is ignoring you.

So the act of being ignored does not always cause lower level emotions.

If you were speeding in your car and drove by a police officer, you might be happy if she ignored you.

So being ignored is not always something that triggers anger or blame. It is how you think about the situation that triggers the anger or blame.

Posted by Lori Prokop | Questions and Comments (0)

How to Overcome Anger and Find Inner Peace

Anger is a sign you have lost focus of what you want and, instead, are focusing on judging or punishing yourself or others. This is step three in my 10 step Anger Management System

Other people’s words and actions can never “make” you feel any certain way.

Your feelings results from whether or not your needs are being met.

Anger comes from focusing your attention on what another person “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing and judging them as “wrong” or “bad.”

Instead, anger’s purpose is to let you know its time to focus on your needs. Once you do, anger is replaced by other feelings. Transforming anger in this way is not repressing it or “cooling down.”

When you are aware of your unmet needs, you could have very intense, painful emotions that will be different than anger.

As your focus changes from judgment or punishment to identifying what you need, anger moves to sadness, hurt, fear or disappointment.

Posted by Lori Prokop | Questions and Comments (0)

How to Build Self-Confidence by Resolving Anger

When you ask angry people what they are fuming about, they often say someone did something or said something wrong.

In a business setting, someone might answer, “He’s so unprofessional and disrespectful. He is a jerk, is a bad boss and has a big mouth.”

This statement tells very little about what’s really happening.

In this anger management step, you want “just the facts.”

Here is a statement containing facts. Observe the difference.

“He interrupts people before they finish their sentences. When we are trying to resolve problems, instead of staying on the subject, he tells stories that have nothing to do with the subject at hand, and this makes our meetings run longer than scheduled.”

In this anger management step, you peel the layers until you can discover and define, without blame or judgment, what is not meeting your needs.

To successfully deal with angry people (yourself and others), be it an angry adult or angry kid, state a clear observation of the situation.

When I outline this step, sometimes I hear, “But, the other person is WRONG! Lori Prokop, how can you expect me to be detached and talk about just the facts?”

Statements like, “You insulted me,” or “I feel disrespected,” or “You are always trying to make me do what you want”:

1) Imply the other person is wrong,
2) Are observations which include blame or judgment and
3) Don’t clearly describe what actually happened

How do you make a clear observation?

Think of a video camera. It has no emotions. It records only fact. Ask yourself this question:

“If a video camera recorded this, and spoke in only fact, how would it describe this situation?”

It might sound like “I heard you say that you don’t like it when I yell,” or “You said you don’t agree with the deadline,” or “You threw the vase across the room and it broke,” or “You did not come home last night and did not call to let us know you were safe.”

Once you view situations and speak from this perspective, you can begin to deal with angry people successfully.

Posted by Lori Prokop | Questions and Comments (2)

3 Steps to Successfully Deal with Angry People when Tempers Flare or Violence Looms

Did you know three amazing insights are happening when people get angry?

1) We are upset our needs are not being met
2) We are blaming ourselves or others for us not getting what we want
3) If we speak or act from anger, it will almost guarantee we will not get what we want or we will regret it later.

When we feel angry, we are focused on what we don’t want or don’t have. Our thinking becomes about the wrongness of others.

The tragedy is we have lost sight of what we do want and need.

Here is step one of my 10 step Launch from Good to Great Anger Management System to transform your own anger and successfully deal with difficult, angry people.

Step 1: Anger is a Blinking Red Light

You’re approaching an intersection and see the stop lights aren’t working as they normally would. They are blinking red in all four directions.

Drivers know a blinking red light means to stop, pause and evaluate the situation before moving ahead. They appreciate the blinking red light, because they understand its importance. It warns them of oncoming traffic preventing harm and providing the opportunity for choice.

The driver’s goal is not to ignore the blinking red light.

Just like a blinking red light draws a driver’s attention to an intersection of options, anger can be a wonderful wake up call to see what needs are important to you and provide you an opportunity to choose.

The purpose of your emotions and their physical manifestations in your body are to give you a physical sign when your needs are and are not being met.

When you feel good, your needs are being met.

When you feel bad, your needs are not being met.

Step one says when tempers flare or violence emerges…to make life enjoyable again for yourself and others:

1) Focus your thoughts on what you need
2) Heal any images of others being “wrong.” These are called enemy images.
3) The goal is for all parties to have their needs met.

You may be saying, “How could I possibly care about the needs of others when they are wrong or have done something terrible?”

Stick with me here. You’ll be amazed at how wonderful applying this anger management system will feel.

To resolve tempers or violence, remember, you can make life peaceful and enjoyable for yourself and others when you choose to focus on what you need, and put aside any enemy images of the other person as “wrong.”

To make your life more wonderful quickly, make your goal to identify your unfulfilled needs and intend a resolution so satisfying that everyone involved gets their needs met too.

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Anger Management: 10 Steps to Transform Anger and Successfully Deal with Angry People

Every minute of the day, you are alive with feelings wanting to be expressed and needs desiring to be fulfilled.

It feels great to live in harmony with what you desire. It feels really good to help other people experience what they desire, when there is no coercion, force, intimidation or manipulation involved.

Is it possible to get what you want in way that feels safe and good?

Yes, it’s possible to get what you want and have your needs met, even when you deal with angry people.

Here are the 10 steps to transform anger and successfully deal with angry people.

Anger Management System 10 Step Summary:

Step 1

Learn anger is a valuable warning signal of unfulfilled needs.

It says to stop and become aware of your unfulfilled needs and the feelings created by those unfulfilled needs.

Begin to look for result that would make your life more fulfilling, satisfying and wonderful.

Step 2

Learn to identify just the facts.

Step 3

You learn your feelings result from your needs being met or not being met and never from what another person does or doesn’t do.

Step 4

You take control of your thinking and focus your awareness on your feelings and needs.

Step 5

You experience more personal power, contentment and ease as you get in touch with your needs and realize you can take positive actions to get your needs met.

Steps 6 and 7

You determine and identify positive actions that will meet your needs right now.

Step 8

Your awareness moves to others involved.

Before talking to them, you guess what the other person feels and needs.

You identify actions which might contribute to his or her needs being met.

Step 9

Chose who you would like to speak first with the knowingness you can continue talking until all needs are met through actions everyone is in agreement with and willing to take.

Step 10

Now it’s time to talk.

You put the steps into action communicating your observations, feelings, needs and requests and receiving the other person’s observations, feelings, needs and requests.

You stay focused on making clear requests and how you feel about what is being requested of you.

As you listen to the request, if you feel good, you might consider agreeing to the request.

If you feel bad, you might consider say no to the request and working towards a request you feel good about agreeing to.

You continue until everyone’s needs are met through actions everyone feels good about and agrees to take.

Will this work even with difficult, unreasonable and angry people? It has resolved wars, solved corporate battles, mended families and much more.

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End Your Fear of Failure

It is dangerous to have your own fears working against you, especially the fear of failure or success. Either can cause you to freeze and create the situation you fear, even causing failure to thrive.

Everyone is going to fall short or experience failure. The important question is not “did you experience failure?” Rather the important question is “how did you react to the failure?”

Coming up short of a desired outcome can be a great teacher. Much of what people have learned, which has been the key to success, has come from overcoming adversity. Mistakes help us discover hownot to do a thing. Success is also a great teacher, showing us how to do a thing.

It is important to see success and failure equal in terms of the lessons both bring.

I was being interviewed as an expert for a book on success. The author asked, “Lori, how do great leaders handle success?”

I replied, “Great leaders are not as devastated by failure or as elated by successes. They take both in stride knowing they will continue to experience both as they move forward. They are more excited by the insights and knowledge they master as a result of both success and failure.”

Great accomplishments can launch from failure. But if you stop because of failure, you will experience that failure forever.

When you experience failure, and you will, step back and in a non-judgmental manner take a good look at it.

I recommend the words of a great mentor of mine, Ted Nicholas, when he advised me, “Lori, say these incredibly powerful words, ‘I forgive myself and others for mistakes of the past.’”

I also suggest to you what another great teacher said, “Lori, you cannot look rationally at the equation or steps which lead to any outcome until you have healed the negative or hurtful emotions attached.”

As you are healing regarding the outcome, ask yourself why this path failed. When you have forgiven yourself and others for mistakes of the past (even if the past is just moments ago), you can look at the situation wiser, more competent and with the sense that failure is only temporary and success is inevitable.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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5 Ways to Create a Happy Family

You might disagree and say, “Lori Prokop what are you writing now?” But hear me out on this.

I believe finding happiness and success are more than just money.

If you are not finding happiness in your family, this is to remind you that you have the power to improve your life within your family.

Here are my Lori Prokop 5 ways to create (or re-create) a happy family:

1) Start with yourself. Finding happiness starts by deciding that you will create the loving spirit that can create a happy family. Develop an energy and personality where simply your spirit and presence will heal others and rejuvenate your family.

2) Look at yourself. Ask yourself this question and give yourself a true answer: “Am I contributing to family happiness or unhappiness?

3) Heal within any feelings of mistrust or anger. This can seem to be an impossible task. But it is achievable and vital to finding happiness and success.

People make mistakes. Some make them only once. Others repeat their mistakes over and over. Each person is doing the best they can at the emotional intelligence level they have achieved.

If someone is being hurtful, blameful, angry or attacking, they are living at a very low emotional intelligence level. That doesn’t mean you need to live in this painful place with them.

Practice treating everyone in the family with love. You may not be able to be around them because of their chosen personality or behaviors. You can pray, intend or send loving energy to them. They will receive it and the power of love will heal them in remarkable ways, often better than we could have dreamed.

4) Choose to live in the upper six levels of your Life Guidance System. You have 21 emotional levels. Fifteen create what you don’t want and six emotional levels create what you do want. People ask me, “Lori, how can I live in the emotional levels that create more of what I want and result in finding happiness?”

Don’t be a part of family problems. Heal yourself and become a cure. Don’t tell your family you have chosen to do this. Just do it. They will notice the difference. Your newly chosen emotional levels will create positive results. With your lead and example, your family members can learn to love and respect each other.

5) Encourage high regard for each other. Teach, by example, that each family member accepts all others and lets each be who they are.

With some wisdom and insight, it is easy to see how people’s personalities have developed. Even if you are repulsed by someone, it is possible to see why they act as they do.

When the development process and history of their personalities is respected, even the most difficult people lighten up. When people feel understood, they no longer feel the need to defend. Love and acceptance of each person’s history will create the feeling of goodwill and real understanding.

So here is what I believe. Ultimately, you can change even the toughest family situation for the better. You can help family member experience success and help yourself in the process of finding happiness.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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3 Instant Strategies to Overcome Fear and Achieve Happiness and Peace of Mind

Once you know these three strategies, fear melts away. Let me illustrate the three secrets with a quick story. Then, I'll give you them to you

I spent time in the Midwest where an old livestock farmer said to me, "Lori, I've learned my greatest life lesson from Hereford cows."

I thought that was a bit unusual. After all, I've spoken to many great people who have shared many incredible life lessons. What could we learn from cows?

Well, I was shocked and grateful.

On cattle ranches, the freezing rain, bitter winds and extreme temperatures of winter storms can wipe out entire herds. Flying ice can even cut into flesh.

Facing this dangerous enemy, most cattle turn their backs and slowly drift downwind until they find another obstacle which stops them. Be it a river, fence or something, they pile up against the obstacle and die in large numbers.

But Herefords intuitively stand shoulder-to-shoulder facing the icy storms with their heads down against the bitter blasts.

The farmer told me, “Well, Lori, you almost always find the Herefords alive and well. It is the greatest lesson from the open range. Just face life’s storms.”

When a person stands up to a challenge or fear that challenge or fear tends to fold and give way. People with courageous persistence win.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

Do not attempt to ignore what you fear and go drifting with the wind. Every person must decide over and over whether to deal with fearful situations or to run away.

Most fears are unfounded and empty. A successful businessman in his 60’s calculated that only about 8 percent of what he feared had happened. He looked back on his life saying that 92 percent of what he feared never came to be.

Of the 8 percent of fears that did occur, he said, “Lori, I just stood up to them with persistence. It was my persistence that overcame them. All fears are controllable.”

Here are three strategies to overcome fear and achieve happiness and peace of mind.

Lori Prokop Happiness and Peace of Mind Strategy #1

Be a person of persistent faith. Most importantly, say morning, noon and night, “I will not be motivated or dominated by fear or anxiety any more. I remove fear and anxiety from my mind. I now decide my fear and anxiety will be brought under control and eliminated. I am a person of persistence and faith.”

In addition to this statement, you will need to choose matching thoughts and actions. This statement will program your mind to remove and reject fear-based thoughts.

Lori Prokop Happiness and Peace of Mind Strategy #2

Work on fears one at a time. With a pen and piece of paper, write out all the fears you have. Make as complete and honest a list as possible. Look over your list and determine the fear that disturbs you the most. Decide to resolve that fear alone, first.

Most people’s strength, energy and persistence are powerful enough to resolve one fear at a time. Resolving all fears or multiple fears at one time can be more than a person could energetically handle.

When you overcome one fear and then the next, you will experience an increased sense of accomplishment, confidence and personal power you can use to defeat all the fears on your list.

Lori Prokop Happiness and Peace of Mind Strategy #3

Increase your faith and persistence power. Faith and persistence can be the result of a long-practiced mental and spiritual process.

Often, those who need faith and persistence the most need it now. They don’t have time for years of spiritual development. To develop faith and persistence quickly and powerfully, I suggest learning and mastering your inner Life Guidance System.

What is your Life Guidance System?

It is a chart of 21 emotional levels which each person uses, with or without awareness, to create and react to situations in his or her life.

At the bottom of the chart is fear which creates 1% of what you do want and 99% of what you don’t want. In the middle of the chart is anger which creates 30% of what you do want and 70% of what you don’t want.

A little higher is contentment which creates 75% of what you do want and 25% of what you don’t want. At the top of your inner Life Guidance System is love and gratitude which manifests 100% of what you do want and 0% of what you don’t want.

You create your life experiences from your chosen emotional levels. As you choose higher and higher emotions, you will be amazed how much easier, more peaceful and more successful your life becomes.

What do you think? Click Here and let us know.

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Child Abuse: 11 Things You Must Know to Heal

By Shelly Horvath

No problem is too great to solve, even the pain of child abuse, emotional abuse and drug abuse.

These 11 steps from John Bradshaw, Lori Prokop and others will help you cope with and overcome hard times. Many of these steps I found from Lori Prokop founder of www.howtohealabuse.com. Looking at her own family, Lori Prokop discovered child abuse, emotional abuse and drug abuse was generational.

1) Acknowledge with help from your Higher Power of 100% pure light, you do have the strength, wisdom and abilities to resolve this difficulty, even if it requires what you view is a miracle. Miracles can happen.

2) Why me? Everyone in life faces challenges, difficulties and pain. Don’t feel you are singled out. Avoid asking, “Why me?” Put your energy into creating a solution, not justifying the problem.

3) Get rid of fear. Fear is the lowest emotional level according to your Life Guidance System discovered by Lori Prokop. What is your Life Guidance System?

Research by Lori Prokop shows you have 21 emotional levels. Six of those emotional levels create what you want in your life. Fifteen of those emotional levels create what you don’t.

I love free resources. I found the 21 emotional levels explained and the actual Life Guidance System chart developed by Lori Prokop in the free special report offered at the How to Heal Abuse web site. It’s clear to me Lori Prokop wants to help people. Even thought this Life Guidance System chart has great value and created immediate positive results for me, Lori Prokop gives it away free.

The Life Guidance System says fear manifests into 99% of what you do not want. Your fear works against you and works in the favor of those trying to hurt you. Your fear is their most powerful weapon. Always keep cool.

Choose to feel emotions from as high in your Life Guidance System as possible, preferably choosing until you reach the upper six levels.

4) Affirm and believe that with help from your Higher Power of 100% pure love you can deal with, resolve and overcome the difficulty. A good source for this is Dr. Norman Vincent Peale’s book, “The Power of Positive Thinking.”

5) Reason. Always use sound, reasonable thinking and include the help of other people who can do so. Many people who have overcome adversity to achieve great success say the key was having a team, mastermind or support group of capable, loving people. Napoleon Hill, author of “Think and Grow Rich,” wrote extensively on this subject. All 12 step groups are based on this principle.

6) Spiritual healing. In addition to help from people, seek spiritual healing and guidance from a source of 100% pure love. Some people say, “Let go and let God.”

At a workshop, John Bradshaw who wrote the book “Bradshaw On: The Family” said even with all the psychological healing people have done, there still exists a hole. That hole is spiritual healing. John Bradshaw says this often needs to be filled before complete healing is realized.

When it comes to spiritual healing, Lori Prokop says this doesn’t mean to never take action to resolve your difficulties. Rather, part of spiritual healing means to hand over your problems to your divine source seeking advice and guidance on what to do and not do for a solution that is the highest good for all involved.

Lori Prokop recommends saying multiple times a day, “I am free of worry about how to figure things out. God does that for me.” Then, Lori Prokop recommends giving thanks for the solution of 100% pure love before it even becomes evident to you.

7) Break the difficulty into manageable parts. Analyzing the large problem until you see it is actually comprised of small challenges is what Lori Prokop recommends.

Abuse can be comprised of more than one type. Lori Prokop gives the example that child abuse and emotional abuse are often caused by drug abuse. The abuser could be using drugs because they were victims of child abuse and emotional abuse. This is how the cycle perpetuates.

Lori advises that tackling the entire abuse issue all at once can be too much to resolve. But starting with an intervention for one of the abuses, such as the drug abuse, may start the healing process for the other abuses.

When you break apart the global problem into manageable parts you will find solutions, ideas and insights come to you.

8) One at a time. Once your difficulty is broken into smaller challenges, study your list to determine the easiest challenge to resolve. Resolve that one, then the next and another. In this manner, as you resolve challenge after challenge, you will gather the strength to beat the entire difficulty.

9) Persistence. Some challenges require time to resolve. Patience is a must.

10) Experience. Look for the educational value and wisdom you gain from the spiritual healing. This helps you resolve or avoid similar situations and keeps you from perpetuating the abuse onto someone else.

Lori Prokop believes great leaders and spiritual healers can develop themselves from personal experiences of child abuse, emotional abuse, drug abuse and other abusive situations. People who have been through the fire, so to speak, can help others because these leaders and healers know both what to do and what not to do.

11) Say. I saw versions of this powerful step from many greats such as Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, Lori Prokop, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and many others.

Multiple times each day say aloud, “I know that my Higher Power and I can solve all problems together.”

Believe me. Once you start applying this information, your life will begin to change for the better.

Even though I wish there was no such thing as child abuse, drug abuse or emotional abuse, if it has happened to you will experience great peace and satisfaction from overcoming and healing it. To quote Lori Prokop, “As each difficulty in your life is solved you will become stronger, more educated and more capable. Life becomes better.”

Shelly Horvath writes about how to heal abuse and create what you want in life. She reads authors like Dr. Peale, John Bradshaw and Lori Prokop. Visit www.howtohealabuse.com for free resources. Click here for free Life Guidance System by Lori Prokop.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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How to have No Fear and Achieve Peace of Mind

When was the last time you worried about something? Aren’t you sick and tired of it? Here’s a few real simple ways to have no fear and achieve peace of mind.

No Fear Tip #1:

Some people think fear is not normal. All people have fears. It is one of the emotions programmed into your Life Guidance System.

The question is not if you feel fear. The question is how quickly you can move through or past fear to achieve peace of mind.

No Fear Tip #2:

The lowest emotional level in your Life Guidance System is fear. It works against you to create 99% of what you do not want in your life.

Love and gratitude are the opposite of fear and the highest emotional level in your Life Guidance System. Feelings of love and gratitude can create 100% of what you do want in your life.

No Fear Tip #3:

Before giving in to your fears, look at them statistically. How often does what you fear ever happen?

No Fear Tip #4:

There are reasons for your fear. The latest brain research reveals adults feel and act in accordance to how their brains were programmed during childhood and adolescence. You may find your fears are irrational now.

No Fear Tip #5:

Get out a pen and paper and write down all the times in your life you have been taken care of, watched over or protected. Give thanks for all this guidance, love and protection. Affirm that it will always be this way.

No Fear Tip #6:

Focus on courage in your mind, your prayers and your intentions. Courage moves fear out and helps you create what you do want in your life. Think with courage. Act with courage. Pray with courage. Feel courageous and enjoy the peace of mind that comes.

No Fear Tip #7:

Follow Emerson’s guidance, “Do the things you fear and the death of fear is certain.”

Does having the courage to do what you are afraid of make sense? Should you consider doing it? As you take action, fear could subside.

No Fear Tip #8:

Fear is the seventh most powerful force in the world. Surprised it isn’t number one?

Love and gratitude are the most powerful force, with five other emotions in your Life Guidance System more powerful than fear. You have power available to you which is greater than fear. Focus on the upper six emotions of your Life Guidance System and experience no fear or much less fear.

No Fear Tip #9:

For peace of mind create focus on living from the upper six emotions of your Life Guidance System.

Research has confirmed these emotions create 75% to 100% of what you want in your life. What you focus on with your mind is formed and experienced in your outside world

No Fear Tip #10:

Help other people find the courage overcome their fears and experience peace of mind. When you are not in fear, but standing back rationally helping another with their fears, you will quickly see fears can be unfounded and simple to overcome. In helping another have no fear, it will become easier for you to let go of yours.

So there you have it. Start now and you could have a life filled with peace of mind, courage and no fear.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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A Funny Story about Healing Stress, Anxiety and Even Chest Pain

Let me tell you a quick story that could help you or a loved one create a better life and find peace of mind.

Norman Vincent Peale, a church pastor and author of The Power of Positive Thinking, tells of man, for the sake of privacy, called “Exhibit A.”

This man was once very difficult to be around according to Normal Vincent Peale. Even though “Exhibit A” had been able to achieve a level of financial success, which was amazing given his nature, this man was so short-tempered and irritable that even his own family avoided him. He had built a successful business but he never seemed happy.

This man soon developed chest pain including shortness of breath and tightness near his heart. He went from doctor to doctor and none could find any physical cause for the chest pain. Doctors said his heart was strong, lungs fine and circulation more than adequate.

Norman Vincent Peale said “Exhibit A” was prescribed a large number of pills for chest pain, more than anyone else he knew. But the pills didn’t seem to rid the chest pain symptoms.

Finally, one of the doctors recommended “Exhibit A” see a specialist in Chicago.

After reviewing his medical file and an examination of the man, the Chicago medical specialist said, “This chest pain is pseudo-pain. It’s not from a physical source. The chest pain is caused by wrong, unhealthy, painful thinking. Change your thinking and start living an enthusiastic life and you will be well. That is my prescription. That will be one thousand five hundred dollars.”

The man screamed, “One thousand five hundred dollars! For what?”

The doctor replied, “For knowing what to tell you. You charge plenty in your business. So do I.”

The doctor, of course, knew in order for “Exhibit A” to follow guidance he would have to pay dearly for it.

So the angry man returned home saying, “Well, I’ll show that jerk. I’ll turn around my thinking and get my fifteen hundred dollars worth if it kills me.”

This was precisely what the doctor had predicted this man would do.

The man went to Norman Vincent Peale to help, to which Peale said to the man, “Okay, how far do you live from here?”

The man answered, “About five miles.”

Norman Vincent Peale replied, “I want you to send your driver and car home for the day. I want you to walk home. And as you do, give God thanks for your mind, your eyes, your heart, your lungs, your arms, your legs and your feet. Thank God you have been told by all the doctors that you have a healthy body. Thank God you had the financial means to go to Chicago. Walk home practicing gratitude, which will give you enthusiasm for life. Give thanks for all you see, smell and experience on your walk home.”

Norman Vincent Peale continued, “Tomorrow, I want you to walk back here in the morning and tell me how you feel.”

The daily walks continued with the man asking the minister to join him. After five days of walking together, Norman Vincent Peale asked, “Why don’t you let God take over and walk with you? Talk to Him as you are talking to me.”

And the man did. He soon became a popular and lovable person because of his new, positive personality which included gratefulness, enthusiasm and pleasurable. He attracted good people and great life circumstances. This story is not meant to be a substitute for sound medical advice. If you have chest pain see a medical doctor right away. With the help of his doctors and his minister, this man’s chest pain did become a thing of the past.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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How to Overcome Burnout, Anxiety and Depression

Here are some simple, yet effective, ways to have a better life by overcoming burnout, anxiety and depression.

Lori Prokop Better Life Tip #1

Start the day achieving. The tone of your day is set in its first five minutes. Henry Thoreau used to stay in bed after waking telling himself all the good news he could think of. When he arose to meet the day, his mind attracted good things, good people and good opportunities.

One of my mentors told me, “Lori, many prominent men and women, upon rising in the morning, think great, positive thoughts. Then, they go out in the world and the energy of happiness and success is naturally attracted.”

This helps avoid and overcome burnout, anxiety and depression. It spreads enthusiasm all day. By nightfall, you will have accumulation of positive energy and results.

Lori Prokop Better Life Tip #2

Seek material filled with positive messages. For some this is religious texts or spiritual books. Books, CDs, DVDs and movies with messages of love, hope, joy and success are great fuel for overcoming burnout, anxiety and depression.

Stop reading tragic news. Disasters are not stopped because you read historically about them. Research is discovering that when people concentrate on violence, anger or fear, these types of incidence increase.

A friend of mine called and said, “Lori, have I got great news for you.”

He went on to tell me that in Washington, D.C. a group of people concentrated on love, kindness and healing and the crime rate decreased during that time. Select movies, television, songs, books and news that renew your spirit and your mind. The goal here is to lesson negative energy to avoid burnout, anxiety and depression.

Lori Prokop Better Life Tip #3

Love your life and the people in it. This can seem like no easy task, especially in today’s world. Sometimes it seems like people have gone insane with anger, jealousy and fear. This is just the reason why love is more important now than ever as an antidote to burnout, anxiety and depression.

In research conducted by Dr. Raymond Moody, he interviewed over 2,000 people who had died and come back to life. The research is featured in his book and documentary movie, Life After Life, which have sold over 13 million copies. I place this work on the Lori Prokop favorite list because it gives a powerful answer to burnout, anxiety and depression.

The people were interviewed individually, so they could not hear one person’s story and claim the same experience. They were from all religious backgrounds including no religion.

The strongest message “from the other side” spoken by the largest number of participants was: “Love is what is keeping this earth and people alive. The most important thing is love.”

Lori Prokop Better Life Tip #4

Guard your energy level. To overcome burnout, anxiety and depression and have a better life, make sure your incoming energy is greater than your outgoing energy.

Living at any of the lower 15 levels of your Life Guidance System will drain your energy. These lower level emotions which create burnout, anxiety and depression are, for example, frustration, overwhelm, jealousy, anger, blame, “keeping up the Jones” and fear.

The upper six emotional levels of your Life Guidance System will charge your energy and help eliminate burnout, anxiety and depression. These are emotional choices such as contentment, ease, positive expectation, hopefulness, enthusiasm, love and gratitude.

So go ahead. These steps will help you overcome burnout, anxiety and depression so you can experience a better life.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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The Key to Success from Think and Grow Rich and Napoleon Hill

One of the greatest success books is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. What many people don’t know is that Napoleon Hill had many mentors including W. Clement Stone.

W. Clement Stone was a genuinely enthusiastic person. He was asked for his key to success and enthusiasm.

“As you know,” W. Clement Stone shared about his key to success, “emotions are not controlled by logic and reason. But they are controlled by mental thought and physical action. Furthermore, the repetition of the same thoughts or the same actions develops into a habit, which repeated with frequency, becomes an automatic reflex.”

“And that is why I use self-motivators. This is an affirmation repeatedly used to deliberately cause in you a desirable action. You verbally repeat self-motivators 50 times in the morning, 50 times mid-day and 50 times at night for 10 days. This imprints the words permanently in your memory.”

Some of the self-motivators W. Clement Stone recommended are:

1) Find one good idea that will work and work that one idea
2) God is always a good God.
3) You have a problem…good!
4) Within every adversity there is a seed of an equivalent or greater benefit
5) Do it now
6) To be enthusiastic, ACT enthusiastically

If you are not getting as much from life as you desire, then examine the type of thoughts you are using to create your life. Your thoughts create your outcomes. Are you thinking positive thoughts and creating what you want?

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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The Secret of Success the Vince Lombardi Way

It’s true. Famous football coach Vince Lombardi faced one of his toughest life challenges when he became coach of the defeated, discouraged Green Bay Packers.

In the first practice as coach, Vince Lombardi stood before the Green Bay Packers silently looking over the players. With enthusiasm and confidence Vince Lombardi said, “Gentlemen, we are going to have a great football team. We are going to win games. Get that. You are going to learn to run. You are going to learn to block. You are going to learn to outplay teams that come up against you. Get that.”

Vince Lombardi continued with enthusiasm, “And how is this going to be done? What is the secret to success? You are to have confidence in me and enthusiasm for my system.”

Tapping his temple, Lombardi instructed, “The secret of success will be what goes on up here. From this point on, I want you to think of only three things: your home, your religion and the Green Bay Packers, in that order! Let enthusiasm take hold of you.”

The players straightened up in their seats. The quarterback said with confidence and enthusiasm, “I walked out of that meeting feeling ten feet tall!”

With this attitude of enthusiasm, the same players who had lost 10 games the prior year before Vince Lombardi won seven games. The second year they won the division championship. The third year with Vince Lombardi’s guidance and direction the team won the World Championship.

How?

They had worked and practiced just as hard in prior years but the difference was confidence and enthusiasm. The difference was not more practice. It was better practice.

My team players would tell you, “Lori is always telling us practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.”

What happened for this professional football team can happen for an individual, a business, a church, an organization and a country. The secret of success is that what goes in the minds of people will determine the level of success.

A great leader said to me, “Lori, when a person experiences confidence and enthusiasm, you can see much more than mere hope in his or her eyes. You see determination and belief. You observe her vibrant personality even in her steps. Her attitude towards people, his job and the world is greatly improved when enthusiasm is present.

Make no mistake about it. The key to success is living with confidence and enthusiasm

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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Success: Key to Success is Self Confidence and Overcoming Inferiority Complex

Let me tell you a brief story. By the time you finish reading this quick article, you will see the key to success.

An inferiority complex, feeling not good enough, leads to less than desirable results, even failure.

I asked a doctor the characteristics of an inferiority complex. She said, "Symptoms can be attacking others, speaking negatively, propagating gossip and doing damage to self. A large number of people, who look like they have self confidence, suffer from the inferiority complex."

The key to success is to overcome the inferiority complex, either your own or someone else's.

After speaking to a convention of men and women in a large city, I moved from stage to an area of the auditorium near a sign saying, "Lori Prokop Book Signing."

At the autograph table I was greeted by a large number of people and signed books when a visibly intense man asked, "Excuse me. Lori Prokop, may I speak with you privately about self confidence and dealing with an inferiority complex?"

I answered, "Yes. Can you wait until the crowd has gone?"

With relief, he politely answered, "Yes, Lori Prokop, I would like that very much."

Once back stage, he began, "I need all the self confidence I can find. I have to achieve the biggest business deal of my life. Lori Prokop, if I have success, it means the world to me. If I fail, I'm done for."

I proposed he relax. Few situations or deals are so final, although they may feel to be the only key to success. An important step is to know if he did succeed that was fine. If he didn't succeed, there would be other days and deals. This is the beginning of overcoming an inferiority complex and achieving self confidence.

He continued, "I have a real inferiority complex. I just don't have the self confidence I want. Here I am forty-five years old. I've been plagued by my inferiority complex. Lori Prokop, I listened to your speech tonight about self confidence. I want to know the key to success you, Lori Prokop, would recommend to help me achieve self confidence."

"There are three steps to take," I answered.

"First step is to discover why you have these feelings. I have a free report at my web site that reveals the 12 Rules of Abuse, which are beliefs people learned as children that keep them from achieving what they want as adults.

"You must approach the inferiority complex and self confidence problems looking for a cause and removing it. This may require self-analysis or assistance of a counselor or therapist.

"To help you and be of assistance now with your immediate problem, I will give you my own Lori Prokop formula which works for me. Starting today, I want you to repeat this powerful phrase I will give you. Tomorrow, I want you to say it throughout the day. Do you agree?"

He replied, "Yes, Lori Prokop, I agree."

I said, "Here is the Lori Prokop Formula."

"I am free of worry about how to figure things out. God does that for me. Together, as partners, God and I achieve success in everything, whether overcoming obstacles or going straight to the top."

I continued, "You can substitute words for what God is to you. The main message here is that you are not alone. Your Life Partner is powerful and on your side always."

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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Stress Relief: 10 Ways to Overcome Stress and Anxiety and find Peace of Mind

Let’s face it. Wouldn’t you like a life with the peace of mind that comes from knowing how to find stress relief? Is it as easy as just finding ways to relax?

Here are 10 of my best Tips on how can you get rid of stress and anxiety and have peace of mind? Here’s how.

1) Down Easy. When you feel your muscles tightening from stress and anxiety, make a choice to relax. Years ago at one of my first speaking events I found stress relief from a seasoned member of the stage crew who said, “Lori, here’s how I relax.” This is what he told me to get rid of my stress and anxiety.

Imagine yourself as a rubber band stretched tightly. Relax and just let go. You will see how quickly the rubber band finds its own stress relief and comes back into its normal shape. Upon your direction, your muscles and body do the same thing and find their stress relief.

2) Breathe. I find when I feel stress and anxiety, I breathe shallowly. When I am at events, and especially if I am feeling stress and anxiety, people remind me, “Lori, you need to find stress relief and peace of mind. Breathe!”

Here is the Lori Prokop Peace of Mind Technique. I’m not saying that I invented it. I am saying it is one of the ways I use to relax and get rid of stress and anxiety.

To find peace of mind imagine being surrounded with pure air. Breathe peace in. Breathe stress and anxiety out. Notice how much more pure and unique the peaceful air smells. Breathe in peace again. Breathe out stress and anxiety. Repeat as desired.

3) One-Minute Peace of Mind. At times the world can be moving so fast we forget to relax, take a break and find stress relief. Many people who experience stress and anxiety have a challenge with slowing down and finding peace of mind for any length of time.

If this is you, start with the Lori Prokop One-Minute Peace of Mind Technique.
Just stand still for one minute. Look at something beautiful or read a quote for one minute. Spread these through your day and see how many minutes of stress relief you can accumulate.

4) One-Minute Relax. Here is quick stress relief and one of many great ways to relax.

To get rid of stress and anxiety, sit for a moment or longer if you choose. Relax and extend your feet on the floor in front of you and feel the stress and anxiety leave your body.

For maximum stress relief, place your head back on the headrest. Raise your arms in front of you. Then permit them to gently fall towards and rest on the top of your thighs. Feel the stress relief and peace of mind.

5) Mind Trip. Right now for peace of mind, picture the most pleasurable place you have ever been or seen. Multiple times each day, return in your mind to this place and experience the healing peace of mind feelings. When I do this, I imagine a beautiful lake with a sign saying, “Welcome, Lori Prokop.” Instantly I have peace of mind and stress relief.

6) Peace. Melt away stress and anxiety by imagining what peace of mind feels like. Feel peace flowing through your mind and body. For stress relief, I say to myself, “I am peace. I feel my body moving from stress and anxiety to relaxation.” You can do the same and feel peace of mind.

7) Remove. Every morning and evening remove thoughts of stress and anxiety. See these thoughts flowing out and peace of mind flowing in.

8) Say. A spiritual healer once said to me, “Lori, words heal, especially words such as relax, tranquility, peacefulness, restfulness, serenity.” Pick words that relax you. Repeat them throughout your day.

9) Time. Here is one of the top Lori Prokop Ways to Relax. Each day spend 10 minutes in quite. Use this to empty your mind, as best you can, of thoughts or stress and anxiety. If you find it challenging to experience peace of mind for 10 minutes, then try one minute each hour of the day. If you find it challenge to find peace of mind at all then use this time to read a book with a healing message.

10) Three. For maximum stress relief, upon rising in the morning and turning in for the evening, I say three times to myself, “100% pure love and light is with me, guiding me and helping me.” Try doing the same.

There you have 10 ways to relax and melt away stress and anxiety. So go ahead and use these Top 10 Lori Prokop Stress Relief and Peace of Mind Techniques right now.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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6 Steps to Overcome Worry

Let’s face it. Wouldn’t you like a life with no worries? Is it as easy as saying, “Just don’t worry?”

Developing a habit of worry can happen so quickly you may not even notice it. Often, worry is learned when people are so young, they come to believe worry is natural. It is not. Worry is a mental affliction which can deepen into fear, anxiety and depression.

How can you get rid of worry for good and have no worries? Here’s how.

1) Realize. Worry is a habit. We are with no worries, not with the ability to worry. It is something you learn from others. Who taught you how to worry?

Brain researchers have recently concluded a habit can be made or broken in 21 to 40 days. The first step to having a worry free life is to break yourself of the worry habit.

2) Stop strangling yourself. The meaning of worry is to strangle or choke off your ability to think and reason soundly. Worry depletes your energy and can even cause physical illness. (You’ve heard of being worried sick? It can really happen.) A health consultant advised me, “Lori, just don’t worry.”

3) Unwise. Statistically worry is a foolish waste of time.

The numbers show 40% of worries are about the past, 50% are about the future and only 10% are about today’s problems.

Is worrying worth it? Only 8% of what people worry themselves sick about ever happens and 92% of worries never occur.

Most likely, when you worry you are paying a high price for something that isn’t even real. For no worries, before you worry about something ask yourself if it is really happening now and if you could control it if it is.

4) Release. What if someone says, “Lori Prokop, don’t worry, be happy?” Here is how I recommend living as close to no worries as you can. Say daily, “I forgive myself and others for mistakes of the past.”

Do this “Don’t Worry Advice” not for their sake, for your own sanity.

5) Steady. Cultivate a stable, steady personality of no worries. I know it can be fun and exciting watching movies with characters having worries and emotional meltdowns. But it is not fun living your life that way.

Regardless of the amount of worry, anxiety or stress around you, take this advice and say, “My Higher Power of 100% pure love is keeping me peaceful and calm.”

6) Gratitude. One of the quickest ways to feel relief is to connect to your Higher Power through gratitude. Do this and you will feel a capable, calm and loving presence with you every minute of the day. I am asked, “Lori how do you get rid of worry?”

I recommend this statement, or one like it, daily, “Thank you to my Higher Power of 100% pure love who is with me always — communicating with, helping and guiding me.”

Don’t worry, be happy. To be worry free, consistently apply these steps. You will be amazed at the progress you can make at eliminating worry and how good it will feel to have no worries.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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Child Abuse: 7 Things You Must Know to Heal

By Shelly Horvath

No problem is too great to solve, even the pain of child abuse, emotional abuse and drug abuse.

These 7 steps from John Bradshaw, Lori Prokop and others will help you cope with and overcome pain. Many of these steps I found from Lori Prokop founder of http://www.howtohealabuse.com. Looking at her own family, Lori Prokop discovered child abuse, emotional abuse and drug abuse were generational.

1) Get rid of fear. Fear is the lowest emotional level according to your Life Guidance System discovered by Lori Prokop. What is your Life Guidance System?

Research by Lori Prokop shows you have 21 emotional levels. Six of those emotional levels create what you want in your life. Fifteen of those emotional levels create what you don’t.

I love free resources. I found the 21 emotional levels explained and the actual Life Guidance System chart developed by Lori Prokop in the free special report offered at the How to Heal Abuse web site. It’s clear to me Lori wants to help people. Even thought this Life Guidance System chart has great value and created immediate positive results for me, Lori gives it away free.

The Life Guidance System says fear manifests into 99% of what you do not want. Your fear works against you and works in the favor of those trying to hurt you. Your fear is their most powerful weapon.

2) Affirm and believe that with help from your Higher Power you can deal with, resolve and overcome the difficulty. A good source for this is Dr. Norman Vincent Peale’s book, “The Power of Positive Thinking.”

3) Reason. Always use sound, reasonable thinking. Include the help of other people who can do so. People who have achieved healing and success say the key was having a team. Napoleon Hill, author of “Think and Grow Rich,” wrote extensively on this subject. All “12-step groups” are based on this principle.

4) Spiritual healing. Seek spiritual healing and guidance from a source of 100% pure love. Some people say, “Let go and let God.”

At a workshop, John Bradshaw who wrote the book “Bradshaw On: The Family” said even with all the psychological healing people have done, there still exists a hole. That hole is spiritual healing. John Bradshaw says this often needs to be filled before complete healing is realized.

When it comes to spiritual healing, Lori Prokop says this doesn’t mean to never take action to resolve your difficulties. Rather, part of spiritual healing means to hand over your problems to your divine source seeking advice and guidance on what to do and not do for a solution that is the highest good for all involved.

Lori recommends saying multiple times a day, “I am free of worry about how to figure things out. God does that for me.” Then, Lori recommends giving thanks for the solution of 100% pure love before it even becomes evident to you.

5) Break the difficulty into manageable parts. Analyzing the large problem until you see it is actually comprised of small challenges is what Lori Prokop recommends.

Abuse can be comprised of more than one type. Lori Prokop gives the example that child abuse and emotional abuse are often caused by drug abuse. The abuser could be using drugs because they were victims of child abuse and emotional abuse. This is how the cycle perpetuates.

Lori advises that tackling the entire abuse issue all at once can be too much to resolve. But starting with an intervention for one of the abuses, such as the drug abuse, may start the healing process for the other abuses.

6) Persistence. Some challenges require time to resolve. Patience is a must.

7) Say. I saw versions of this powerful step from many greats such as Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, Lori Prokop, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and others.

Multiple times each day say aloud, “I know that my Higher Power and I can solve all problems together.”

Believe me. Once you start applying this information, you can experience a change for the better. To quote Lori Prokop, “As each difficulty in your life is solved you will become stronger, more educated and more capable. Life becomes better.”

Shelly Horvath writes about how to heal abuse and create what you want in life. She reads authors like Dr. Peale, John Bradshaw and Lori Prokop. Visit www.howtohealabuse.com for free resources. Click here for free Life Guidance System by Lori Prokop.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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How to Overcome Sadness and Grief

Dealing with sadness and grief can feel overwhelming, but there are answers. Here are 10 tips you may find helpful and healing.

Lori Prokop Healing Sadness and Grief Tip #1

Our experience on earth includes the inevitable passing of loved ones and friends, as well as the ups and downs of career, business, family and life.

Whether you have lost a loved one, a business or a job, I recommend the highly-respected book and movie, “Life After Life.” They have sold 13 million copies.

Lori Prokop Healing Sadness and Grief Tip #2

Do not feel ashamed of your sadness and grief by trying to contain or hide it. Tears are meant to cleanse and relieve. Cry out your pain. Pray out your grief. Peace will come.

Lori Prokop Healing Sadness and Grief Tip #3

For your own healing, continue on with a life of activities as before. Or you may consider finally doing what you have wanted to do for years.

If you have lost a loved one, know he or she would want you to carry on. Whether here or there, he or she really wants what is best for you.

Lori Prokop Healing Sadness and Grief Tip #4

Refrain from saying you have “lost” your loved one. A line of poetry says, “Love cannot lose itself.” You have not lost. Rather, your loved one is living in a new dimension, yet still close to you.

Lori Prokop Healing Sadness and Grief Tip #5

You can ask loved ones who have passed to continue being with you through your prayers, dreams or signs only the two of you would know. Even friends of mine who have not believed this was possible, once a loved one transitions, tell me it is very real.

Lori Prokop Healing Sadness and Grief Tip #6

Many who have loved ones who transition want to know, “Where is my loved one?”

Spirituality has been telling us and research is now beginning to prove he or she is well, strong and happy surrounded by love. Realize your loved one is fine — quite fine. (See Life After Life.)

Lori Prokop Healing Sadness and Grief Tip #7

Realize your Higher Power has made it possible for you and your loved one to meet here on earth.

Think about that. There are over SIX BILLION people on earth. Out of six billion people you could have been with, you and your loved were brought together here.

Find comfort knowing your Higher Power will also make sure you and your loved one will be together “over there.”

Lori Prokop Healing Sadness and Grief Tip #8

Often the best way to overcome our own sadness and grief is to help someone else feel better. What we give out into the world comes back ten-fold. That includes the love and help we extend to another.

Make a list of all the people you know who are feeling sadness or grief. Next to each name write something nice you can do to brighten his or her day. As you follow through with the list of actions, you will find healing, peace, gratitude and comfort in doing so.

Lori Prokop Healing Sadness and Grief Tip #9

Humans have incredible resilience. Having faith and connection to a Higher Power of 100% pure light and love can help relief, healing and recovery comes quicker and easier.

Lori Prokop Healing Sadness and Grief Tip #10

For some people, the greatest sadness and grief relief is found in their spirituality. Some people who have little prior spiritual beliefs seek answer during hardships or loss. Read spiritual books. Listen to spiritual CDs. Watch spiritual DVDs.

I don’t know if this helps you, but I find comfort in the quote, “It is better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all.”

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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Relationship Advice: Discover How to Solve Relationship Problems

What if I told you that you could start right now solving relationship problems and creating healthy relationships — both new and existing? Here’s how:

Lori Prokop Relationship Advice #1

Are you comfortable with yourself? The first best friend you need is you. If you have problems or are critical of yourself, seek the help of a counselor or therapist to look at where you learned this behavior. You likely learned this as a child from parents, caregivers, peers or teachers. Whatever the issue, it can be overcome.

Lori Prokop Relationship Advice #2

Intimacy does not mean physical relations. Intimacy is “in-to-me-i-see.”

In order to connect with others and have a healthy relationship, you have to first connect with yourself. You can’t be close with another until you can be close with yourself. Again, as in the above step, if this is a challenge, help is available. Seek a counselor or therapist and talk to them about this.

Lori Prokop Relationship Advice #3

Looking for love? What do you enjoy doing? Find others who enjoy the same. There are thousands of hobby, professional and special interest groups always open to new members.

Lori Prokop Relationship Advice #4

What thoughts are you focused on? How lonely you are? How the right person hasn’t come along yet? Lonely people strengthen their loneliness with the power of negative thinking.

One of life’s most powerful secrets to creating a healthy relationship is to stop thinking about what you don’t want or don’t have and start focusing on what you do want. This will magnetize to you what you desire.

Lori Prokop Relationship Advice #5

Are person who can have fun and appreciate life? This doesn’t mean you need to live at the edge of life doing wild and crazy things or be the loudest person at the party. It means you do not complain, lash out or put down others. The basis of a healthy relationship is two people who enjoy themselves and each other. Find humor and genuine appreciation for things others may overlook.

Lori Prokop Relationship Advice #6

A lonely life can feel empty and therefore unpleasant. The secret is to have a full mind and full life: full of activities, full of people, full of interests you love, full of relaxation and full of experiences.

Lori Prokop Relationship Advice #7

Have a plan for every day, even choosing the days you plan to rest and do nothing. Meet new people and experience new places. Try new things.

Lori Prokop Relationship Advice #8

When you look around, you will see other people who are feeling lonely. Help others find their ways out of loneliness. By doing so, you will be so busy that you won’t have time to be lonely.

Lori Prokop Relationship Advice #9

Those who help others are not going to stay lonely for long. Your community needs plenty of good people like you to help others. There are numerous volunteer activities in all sorts of organizations.

Like technology or TV? Volunteer at your local cable access. Like animals? No-kill animal shelters and sanctuaries are full of animals and the people who love them. Like people? Organizations for all types of people welcome volunteers with open arms.

Find what you like and there is likely a volunteer position waiting for you.

Lori Prokop Relationship Advice #10

Even if you were the last person on earth, you would not be alone. You have a Great Friend who is always with you.

What’s stopping you from enjoying the healthy relationship you desire? Put these 10 tips to the test right away.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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10 Simple Steps to Have a Better Life

Let’s face it. Most people want a better life. One of the most common questions I hear from clients it, “Lori Prokop, how can I have a better life?” It never seems to fail that it’s our own habits, weaknesses or characteristic that keep us from the better life we desire.

Even with these personal challenges, the power exists to have a better life. Here are the Lori Prokop 10 Steps you can use to have the better life you desire.

1) Recognize the power to have a better life comes through faith in a Higher Power. It was a valuable lesson the day I realized, “Lori, you are not alone.”

2) Give your problems to your Higher Power. I do this by saying, “Lori, you are free of worry about how to figure things out. God does that for you.”

3) Focus your awareness on the six upper emotional levels of your Life Guidance System. This is the most powerful and quickest step to a better life where you can actually create what you want in your life.

4) Practice the principle “let go and let God” — whatever your understanding of God is.

5) Ask your Higher Power to give you a better life. Believe and feel a better life is on its way to you. Before it even arrives, I say to myself, “I now give thanks for this better life.”

6) Read spiritual and success materials. Make a list of actual words of success people have used to create better lives. Practice these words until they are firmly in your memory. You automatically speak them naturally. Here is one to help you get started to a better life. Each day I say to myself, “I forgive myself and others for mistakes of the past.”

7) On my wall I have a poster with quotes from eight great spiritual leaders. When I need a solution, I ask myself, “What would great spiritual leaders do right now?” Then do that.

8) Form a daily habit of focusing on positive emotions, encouraging intentions and gratitude. I call mine the Lori Prokop Quite Time. Some people call this meditation, prayer or creating. Set aside specific times or dedicate five minutes each waking hour to create a better life all day long.

9) Read, watch or listen to spiritual, inspirational and healing materials. Study parts which appeal to you. I have a library of material I call the Lori Prokop Better Life Library. Start your own today.

10) For a better life, practice feeling and sending love and good will to both friends and others.

Now it is time to start putting these Lori Prokop Better Life Steps in action. So, go ahead and create the better life you desire.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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No Worries: Two Instant Strategies Anyone Can Use to Get Rid of Worry

A skeptical, hard-nosed New York banker saw a church advertising their next sermon, “You Can Get Rid of Worry.” He sneered at the announcement but decided to attend because he was looking for the answer to his anxiety and worry.

His past actions, negative thoughts and resulting personality had drained him of happiness. They were also threatening his business achievements and position. His anxious, tense and nervous ways were compromising his performance.

The minister suggested to the congregation a private “worry cleansing.” He instructed each person, in the privacy of their own home, to write their worries, old and new, on slips of paper. Then, study each slip to determine how real these worries were.

It was surprising to all what a high percentage, over 90%, of what they worried about had never come to be.

They were instructed to look at statistical averages of how likely current worries were to happen.

As the banker was looking at his slips of paper, in a sweep of his hand, he pushed into the garbage the worries he deemed worthless wastes of his time saying, “Thank you, God, for your amazing power to help and change even a person like me. I feel different and better. And I know it.”

Achieving No Worries

Then he took the remaining slips of paper back to the minister the next week. With the minister at his side, the banker studied the few slips on which real concerns were written. The banker confided, “God and I together can take care of these matters.”

As the banker spoke, the minister pulled a card from his pocket and read it to the banker. It said, “God, help me to remember that all which may happen to me today can be handled and resolved by You and I together.”

A spiritual exercise and conversation had the power to remove worry from this man’s life. When the banker found his connection to a Higher Power who was able to provide him solutions for all problems, the banker had no worries.

Add Up Your Blessings and Subtract Your Worries

Psychologically and spiritually this is a sound exercise. Write out your blessings and count them. Your worries will begin to fade away as their power disappears.

After a speaking event to a large group, I was signing autographs and answering questions. A man waited around until others were gone out of earshot. He approached me desperately saying, “Excuse me, Lori Prokop, may I speak with you? Everything in my life is going badly and I am worrying myself sick.”

He continued, “It’s all over. Everything is washed up. Nothing left but a terrible mess that can’t be fixed.”

I compassionately replied, “I am so sorry to hear your wife has run off with someone else.”

To which he retorted, “My wife has not run off. She loves me and would stick through thick or thin with me.”

“Great, get out a paper and pen,” I said. “Let’s write that on a list of what you have going for you, your Blessing List. We’ll make a list of what you have lost and what you have left. So first, let’s write what you have left.”

Then I continued, “I am so sorry to hear your children are murderous drug dealers who are hurting others.”

Annoyed, he defended, “Lori, my children are wonderful. They have both said they support me no matter what. They love me dearly.”

“Wonderful,” I said. “Let’s include that on your Blessing List of what you have going for you, children who love you.”

Then I continued, “I’m real sorry to hear your house was leveled by a tornado and your insurance expired because you didn’t have enough money to get by.

He replied, “We don’t get tornados here. Lori, where are you coming up with this stuff? My house is fine. My insurance is paid. Even though times are really tough, we find enough money to get by.”

“Great,” I said. “Let’s write no tornados, house fine, insurance paid and enough money to get by.”

By this time, the Blessing List was becoming visually apparent.

He said, “I can see I’ve been wrong. I have more going for me than I realized. And much of it is the most important things like the love of my family. I’ve never really considered those assets, but I guess they are.”

We finished the Blessing List. His worries and fears lost their power to the point he felt it was not even necessary to write them down. We gave a prayer of thanks and gratitude for what he did have.

He kept in touch letting me know his turn from negative thinking to positive created victory over worry. He stopped worrying and started living.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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How to Get Rid of Addiction and Abuse

Tell me, does this describe someone you know?

Some people who feel inferior use an addiction to try to overcome weaknesses, especially in times of increased stress or deep inner conflict. A person’s inner inferiority complex reveals itself in his or her actions such as addiction, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, child abuse, compulsive eating, blame and aggression among others.

No successful person desires
a destructive addiction. What people who choose addiction or abuse really
want is the power and ability to create better lives.

Fearing they do not have this
power to improve their lives, you will hear these people use excuses and
blame to justify their addiction and abuse and protect what little dignity
they feel they have left.

If you find yourself or
others dealing with addiction or abuse, instead of justifying or blaming,
ask the following questions:

• Do I really want healing and resolution for this addiction or abuse?


• Am I willing to improve myself to achieve healing?


• Do I realize I can’t control others? The only one I can control is me.


• Am I willing to take the first step for myself and get rid of my addiction, abuse excuses, blame and other destructive habits to achieve peace and happiness?

Alcohol abuse and drug abuse
are common crutches today. I have met many people who feel tongue-tied or
awkward at social events. They find a few cocktails or beers “give them a
lift” turning them from introvert to extrovert.  There are many people who
drink to feel better about themselves, even to the point of abuse or
addiction.

For an article entitled
Lori Prokop Interviews the Experts, one doctor said to me, “It’s sad but
true. A seemingly innocent use of alcohol can quickly and easily become an
addiction, especially if people perceive they are someway ‘improved’ when
they drink.”

Alcohol abuse, drug abuse and
any other addiction are serious forms of personal loss. The people, who
depend on any exterior addiction or abuse rather than improving their
perceived weaknesses and healing their pains, are beaten from the start.

Such a person can find
healing. They must get rid of the addiction and abuse, find a healing system
which works and resolve their fears and pains.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

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9 Steps to Overcome Worry

Let’s face it. Wouldn’t you like a life with no worries? Is it as easy as saying just don’t worry?

Developing a habit of worry can happen so quickly you may not even notice it. Often, worry is learned when people are so young, they come to believe worry is natural. It is not. Worry is a mental affliction which can deepen into fear, anxiety and depression.

How can you get rid of worry for good and have no worries? Here’s how.

1) Realize. Worry is a habit. We are with no worries, not with the ability to worry. It is something you learn from others. Who taught you how to worry?

Brain researchers have recently concluded a habit can be made or broken in 21 to 40 days. The first step to having a worry free life is to break yourself of the worry habit.

2) Stop strangling yourself. The meaning of worry is to strangle or choke off your ability to think and reason soundly. Worry depletes your energy and can even cause physical illness. (You’ve heard of being worried sick? It can really happen.) A health consultant advised me, “Lori Prokop, just don’t worry.”

3) Unwise. Statistically worry is a foolish waste of time.

The numbers show 40% of worries are about the past, 50% are about the future and only 10% are about today’s problems.

Is worrying worth it? Only 8% of what people worry themselves sick about ever happens and 92% of worries never occur.

Most likely, when you worry you are paying a high price for something that isn’t even real. For no worries, before you worry about something ask yourself if it is really happening now and if you could control it if it is.

4) Release. What if someone says, “Lori, don’t worry, be happy?” Here is how I recommend living as close to no worries as you can. Say daily, “I forgive myself and others for mistakes of the past.”

Do this “Lori Prokop Don’t Worry Advice” not for their sakes, for your own sanity.

5) Look for the best. Stop looking for the worst in your situation, your future and in others. Live a life of no worries. Look for the best in your life and your future. Don’t worry about bad things that may happen. Focus on the power you do possess right now to create what you want in your life.

6) Steady. Cultivate a stable, steady personality of no worries. I know it can be fun and exciting watching movies with characters having worries and emotional meltdowns. But it is not fun living your life that way. Regardless of the amount of worry, anxiety or stress around you, take this advice and say, “My Higher Power of 100% pure love is keeping me peaceful and calm.”

7) Know what worry to procrastinate. One of the skills of happy people is to know what worry to procrastinate and overlook. This may seem an odd way to a worry free life. Let me explain.

Do all the items on your “to-do” list need to be accomplished today? Does everything in your home need to meet your standards? Where could you have no worries on yourself and others?

The well-respected psychologist William James noted, “Genius is to know what to overlook.” Lessen your self-accepted burdens and you will find you don’t worry as much.

8) Clear and Replace. Your mind can be cleared of any thoughts so you don’t worry. If it is full of worry, you can become worry free and replace worry with peaceful, calm and loving thoughts from the upper emotional levels of your Life Guidance System.

Do this by saying, “I choose thoughts and feeling of 100% pure light and love. My heart and mind are full of peace and strength.”

9) Gratitude. One of the quickest ways to feel relief is to connect to your Higher Power through gratitude. Do this and you will feel a capable, calm and loving presence with you every minute of the day. I am asked, “Lori Prokop how do you get rid of worry?”

I recommend this statement, or one like it, daily, “Thank you to my Higher Power of 100% pure love who is with me always — communicating with, helping and guiding me.”

Don’t worry, be happy. To be worry free, consistently apply these steps. You will be amazed at the progress you can make at eliminating worry and how good it will feel to have no worries.

What do you think? Click on the Questions And Comments link and let us know.

Posted by Lori Prokop | Questions and Comments (0)

Relationship Rescue: 4 Things You Must Know to Solve Relationship Problems

You may disagree, but hear me out on this. The world is full of people who live miserable lives because of fears. It affects all their relationships: family, romantic, casual, business.

Spouses fear each other. Children fear parents and teachers. Employees fear bosses. People stay in abusive relationships because of fear.

If a person is afraid or experiencing an inferiority complex, they will commonly attack others, either verbally or, less often, physically. If you see someone writing harmful or hurtful words about another, you can rest assured the writer is fearful and feeling inferior.

Here is the Lori Prokop Relationship Advice which will provide most any relationship help.

Lori Prokop Relationship Rescue #1:

Can a relationship problem be solved by guiding another who feels shy, afraid or inferior to healing? Relationship rescue could happen when people discover healthy ways to feel better and improve their view of themselves.

You can be guaranteed in every group there are those who suffer from the inferiority complex. You may be surprised to discover who they are. Often they are the loudest talkers and strongest attackers who use this behavior to cover up their own inferior feelings.

Identify a person feeling an inferiority complex and show him or her kindness — while staying out of an abusive relationship. This will help that person feel better while helping you feel better too.

Lori Prokop Relationship Rescue #2:

Be your real self. You are unique and valuable, just as you are right now. You are the only one of you that exists. Do not imitate or try to be like others. This is a sure sign of weakness and inferiority complex.

Solve your relationship problem by being yourself and make your own heart-based decisions.

Lori Prokop Relationship Rescue #3:

Choose 100% Pure Love. Now that may sound too airy-fairy for you. After all, you may be a “professional” with an image to uphold. You may be a tough person who fears appearing weak by choosing to live at the upper levels of your Life Guidance System.

The strongest, most successful people, who help the world the most, have chosen to live at the highest level of their Life Guidance System, which is 100% pure light and